Winter Nights
by Lirien Aria
Summary: 3 Christmases since her mothers death, Tohru is finding life at the Sohma house to be unbearable. Try as she might, Tohru can't seem to keep herself together. Tohru has a breakdown, but luckily Hatori is there to calm her down.
1. Winter night

Winter was finally here at the Shoma house. It was a beautiful, but sad winter. I was missing mom more and more. This was my Third winter without her here with me, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I had been crying on and off for the past week. I could imagine her smiling face, asking me "_what's wrong Tohru?" _

I wiped my blue eyes, fixed myself up a bit, and headed out of my room, determined to smile. Bumping into Kyo was not in my plans, but the Cat had ran into me, and hard. Like he had been running.

**POOF!~**

"KYO! I am so sorry! I-i-i just wasn't looking, and-and I-um-" I stammered.

"Damn it!" Kyo cursed, as Yuki came running around the corner, caught sight of Kyo, and began laughing uncontrollably. His disheveled mop-ish black hair falling into his face. Kyo glared at Yuki, in his orange little cat form, hissing and spitting every now and then.

_They must have been fighting again. _I thought as I began gathering Kyo's Cloths for him.

"Um, Kyo, Yuki, what were you running from?" I asked as I faced the boys, a small smile on my face. They always fought, and it was sadly because of how much they liked each other. It was how they showed it, at least, that is what Shigure told me.

"KYO!" kagura's voice boomed through the house. Followed closely by Ayame, yelling,

"LITTLE BROTHER! LITTLE YUKI!"

**POOF!~**

I turned around just in time, so as to not embarrass Kyo. I handed him his clothes as him and Yuki took off at a dead run out the house, and into the garden. Kagura and Aya came running up to me, both looking enthralled, and smiling.

"They went that way." I said, holding back giggles, and pointing out the ginger cat and the silver rat hiding in the garden.

"Thanks!3" Both Aya and Kagura chimed, as they skipped off to gather their prospective victims. I stared giggling to myself as I walked into the kitchen, putting on a pot of water for tea. The front door slid open and shut, I heard someone putting a bag down, then coming into the living room. I walked around the corner and greeted Shigure. He was dressed in a suit again, a light Grey one this time. He looked a bit stressed, as he sat down at the table. He ran a hand through his short black hair, and gripping the back of his neck. His eyes were closed, as if he was trying to forget the days happenings.

"Shigure-sama, would you like some tea? I just put a pot of water on."

He shook his head, opening his light brown eyes, and relaxing a bit, his childlike smile gracing his face, making him look years younger.

"No. No thank you Tohru. I wont be staying for long. I have to go back to the main house and help Hatori with some things."

"Oh. OK. " I replied, sitting down at the table with him.

"Hatori will be coming to dinner tonight. Will that be okay. with you?"

"Oh- um of course! This is your house after all, Shigure- sama."

"Tohru, you know you can just call me Shigure. There is no need to be formal. Oh! Crap! I'm late!" He exclaimed, jumping up from the table, pulling his shoes on and grabbing his suitcase, only stopping at the door long enough to say to me,

"We should be home in about an hour, Tohru. Bye! Take care."

Once Shigure had left, the tea pot whistled. I made myself a cup of mint tea, and sat back down at the table by myself, reminiscing.

I missed mom, even more every day. They say time heals, but I couldn't imagine this ache in my heart to see my mother again, alive and smiling, to ever ebb. I felt the hot sting of tears fill my eyes, and I sighed as I got up and grabbed some tissue paper to dab my eyes with. It was getting harder and harder, the closer it got to Christmas, to smile, and not to break down into tears.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, and realized that about a half hour had passed since Shigure had left.

_I better get started on dinner. _ I thought, as I walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge, to see what I could make.

_Nikujaga** sounds good. _I pulled the ingredients out of the fridge, and began the preparation for dinner. I let the meal, simmer on the stove for a good twenty minutes, checked the potato's to make sure they were soft, then turned the burner on the stove off and kept the dish covered. I set the table for three, since Yuki, Kyo, Kagura, and Aya were still gone, I assumed they would not be joining Shigure, Hatori and I for dinner.

"Tohru Dear! We are home!" Shigure called from outside the house. He sounded slightly drunk, and a lot happier than when he had come home earlier. Shigure came skipping into the kitchen, a broad smile on his face, as he hugged me tight. Hatori came in behind Shigure, a small smile gracing his devastatingly handsome face. Shigure, tripping all over the house, finally face planted into the floor, next to the dinning table, and instantly fell asleep, like nothing had happened, and he was just sleeping on his own bed. Hatori sighed, as he lifted Shigure off the floor and began dragging him upstairs to Shigure's room.

"Oh! Um-ah, do-do you need help Dr. Hatori-sama?" I stammered, as I ran after Hatori.

"No, stay there. I will just get him settled into his bed." He stated, his voice like velvet over my skin. I nodded, a blush covering my face, and I whipped myself around and sat the the table, examining my response to his voice in my mind.

My thoughts were brutally interrupted my my mothers smiling face. Her shoulder length light blonde hair blowing behind her. I couldn't hold the tears back, nor could I run into the bathroom fast enough. The panic attack setting in. I tried to calm myself down, but breathing was getting harder for me, and I just couldn't get myself to stop crying.

Mom's smiling face. Her beautiful face, her loving spirit, destroyed by that accident. That one minute in time, destroying my whole life.

I gasped my breaths, and began sobbing even harder. Even though I heard Hatori coming close to the door, I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't stop the ugly sound of my gasping for breath.

"Tohru? Are you alright?"

I managed to mummer a small, "Yes", followed by my gasping for breath. Not breathing will make you do that.

"Tohru, I know you are not alright. Do you want to talk about it?" He was beginning to sound concerned.

"n-n-no. I-I-I-I'm f-f-fine." I managed to spit out, after holding my breath in for a bit. I let it all out and began gasping again. My eye sight was getting blurry at this point.

"I'm coming in Tohru." Hatori stated simply as he opened the door to find me, tears falling in rivets out of my eyes, and down my face. My waist length mocha colored hair disheveled, and my face a light red color from my gasping. His light olive colored eyes widened, shock evident on his face as he took in my chaotic appearance. He sighed softly, as he fell to his knees next to me, took my into his strong arms, and cradled me close to his chest. Even though I was still gasping for breath, he held me there, so close to him, I could hear his heart beating calm and even, just like him. He just placed his hand behind my head, pushing my tear streaked face even closer to his chest.

"Shh, I'm here. You are alright." His even voice enveloped me, cradling me, just as his arms were. My breathing calmed, and gradually I stopped crying.

"I'm sorry Dr. Hatori-"

"It's fine Tohru. Don't say you're sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for," he interrupted me, and held me away from his chest, to look into his eyes.

I had never seen him show so much expression before. I must have really worried him. I blushed, then shook it off.

_He is just worried, as an adult worries about a small child. Like a father figure. _

"Do you want to talk about what just happened Tohru?"

"Not really..." I replied as I looked away from him, my eyes downcast, and new tears forming in my eyes, this time for a different reason.

_He doesn't care for me any more than a father cares for his daughter. _

I thought, as the tears seeped down my face. His face became worried again. I wiped my tears from my eyes with the back of my hand, stood up and walked out of the bathroom. Hatori followed me into the dinning room, where I served dinner, just as if nothing happened. I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move, as I was eating.

"Tohru." He said, his voice almost had a sort of longing in it, but maybe I was mistaken. His eyes were searching my face, for something, anything, what I didn't know.

"Y-yes Dr. Hatori-sama?"

"Please call me Hatori, Tohru."

"Alright."

"What was that? In the bathroom. What was wrong? I have never seen you show so much...sadness. I'm worried, Tohru."

I put my fork down, and sighed.

_Figures I couldn't hide anything from Hatori. Anyone else and I could have played it off as hormones or something. I could say I squashed a bug, but Hatori. He would know. He knows when people lie. _

"I miss my mom Dr.- Ah, I mean, Hatori... I really miss her, and its just getting worse this season. With Christmas so close, and everyone gone all the time, I have had a lot of time to think about her. About mom." I replied, my eyes examining my plate of food.

"What about after you were done crying and you started again. That was because of your mom too?" He asked, his head tilted slightly to the side, resting on his left hand. I imagined if he had his glasses on he would have pushed them up the bridge of his nose.

_Always a doctor, no matter where he is. He is always a doctor first. _And he looked it.

"Yes." I lied, hoping he wouldn't pick it up. He didn't seem to press it much further. So I assumed I had gotten away with it.

" Tohru! You should go stay with Hatori! It will help you get your mind off of things! Plus Hatori is done with his work for the rest of the year, so he will be able to keep you more company than us!" Shigure stated simply, a child like smile on his face, almost as if he was proud of him self for coming up with the idea. Hatori looked panicked, and I could have sworn I saw him mutter something under his breath to Shigure.

"Shigure, may I speak with you in the other room please?" Hatori asked as he stood up and lead Shigure into the Kitchen.

(In the kitchen)

"Are you nuts?" Hatori hissed, "you know how hard it is for me to even be around her when I visit here, what would make you think to have her stay with me?"

"She reminds me a lot of Kana." Shigure stated simply. Hatori's face sunk, his heart stinging at the mention of Kana's name, " She needs you Hatori. You of all people can see how much pain she is in..."

Hatori glanced back to Tohru, sitting alone at the table, picking at her food. He felt his heart sink, and had the sudden urge to hug her again. To smell her sweet orange blossom shampoo again, to feel her soft skin under his rough hands.

"Yes I can see it, but why me?"

"I think you both can help each other." Shigure stated simply as he walked back into the dinning room all smiles and began chatting with Tohru.

_I love her...my god I fucking love her. _Hatori thought as he watched her movements. Her brushing her hair back behind her ears, her smile, her laughter.

_This is going to be a long Christmas._...

**Nikujaga does not seem typically Japanese since the main ingredients niku (meat) and jagaimo (potatoes) are historically not traditional Japanese foodstuffs. But Nikujaga is a popular meal especially at home. It is a typical "mother's taste" meal. The taste of Nikujaga may surprise you because of the ingredients sugar and soya sauce, and I am sure that the surprise will be a positive one. **


	2. vacation house

Tohru Honda walked out of the Shoma vacation house in the mountains and sighed, her blue eyes closing as she savored the feeling of the clean, sweet a mountain air surrounding her . There was the barest of hints of last night's snow storm on the ground around her, as she stood outside marveling at the sheer beauty of the country side. She didn't feel as sad any more . She sighed slightly as she sipped at the warm apple cider she made for herself earlier this morning. Yuki had volunteered the day before to drive her out here, on Shigure's request that she take a few weeks off, and spend some time by herself. Shigure had tried to get her to spend the weeks at Hatori's house, but apparently the irritated look she gave him made him decide to offer up this vacation house in the mountains to her. The house was clean and orderly, kept clean Tohru guessed by the ever elusive Shoma house keeper. Tohru had never seen her, but she assumed that she came by every day, judging by the state of all the Shoma houses.

Tohru took another sip of her cider and cuddled closer to the pillar supporting the awning of the porch, when she noticed a black car coming up the drive way to the vacation house. All the windows were tinted, giving no hint as to who was driving car or riding in it. The car came to a slow stop just short of the curb lining the front of the house. The door opened to the driver side of the car, revealing a grim looking Hatori. His light green eyes stared out of the car towards Tohru, almost seeming to see through her, into her inner most thoughts. His stare made a small blush come to her face, and she set her cider down on the railing that went around the vacation house.

Hatori stepped slowly out of the driver's seat of his car, and sighed as he closed the door and went to the back seat of the car and grabbed his luggage. When Shigure suggested that Hatori go to the winter vacation house in the mountains, Hatori had no idea that Shigure had planned this meeting between Tohru and him. Hatori closed the back of his car and walked up to the front of the house, to the place where Tohru was still standing, cuddled up next to the pillar, a cute little blush across her pale pink skin.

"Good morning Tohru, what a nice surprise to see you here." Hatori said as he passed Tohru and walked into the house with his belongings.

"O-oh, hi Hatori-Sama, I didn't know you would be here at the vacation house. Shigure-Sama had said that no one else would be using it for the next few weeks." Tohru replied as she tried to force he blush back, and seem unruffled.

"Odd, Shigure had mentioned the same to me."

"U-um I took the bedroom already. I'm sorry. I can sleep on the couch if you want. I don't want to be in your way."

"Oh, no, you will not be in my way. I can sleep out on the couch." Hatori replied as he set his things down in front of the couch, and took off his coat. Tohru eyed Hatori, the blush threatening to come back as she saw Hatori take his jacket off. _GOD!_ _just the thought of H__atori undressing had her body responding to his, T_ohru thought.

"Is there something wrong Tohru?" Hatori asked as he set his jacket down neatly over the back of the couch. His green eyes seemed as though they were caressing her [try '_as though he were mentally caressing her' or 'his __eyes gave hint to the fact that __he was caressing her skin in his mind__'; eyes can't caress]_, just by the look he was giving her.

Tohru shook her head. _H__e__ is just a doctor, worried about one of his patients. That is all. He is just examining her to make sure she is feeling well,_ Tohru thought, trying to explain the look in his eyes.

"Tohru?" Hatori asked as he stepped closer to her. He was close enough for Tohru to smell his refreshing cologne.

"Ah-um, sorry, Dr. Hatori. I am fine! Thank you so much for worrying about me, but I'm fine!" she replied a smile plastered to her face.

"You're a bad liar, Tohru. You know that?" he asked, sighing and turning to go into the kitchen. Tohru watched him walk into the other room, sighing herself.

_Figures I couldn't fool him._

She sat down on the couch, next to where his jacket was laid across the back, and inhaled his sent. She knew what her mom would say right now. She knew and didn't want to think about it. Her mom would tell her to tell Hatori how she felt, but that was out of the question. Her feelings were that of a teenager, foolish, and illogical.

Hatori came in from the kitchen wearing no shirt, a towel over his shoulder and a cup of coffee in his right hand. He headed up the stairs, not saying one word to Tohru. She watched his back, his muscles flexing slightly as he walked up the stairs. She sighed, shaking her head slightly.

_Of __course he would have to be half __naked walking though the house_, she thought to herself, a light blush coming to her face as she remembered his perfect body, his pale skin stretched taunt over his lean muscles.

The phone to the vacation house rang just in time to interrupt her lusty thoughts. She picked up the phone, answering a cheery "hello?" as she did.

"Hiya, Tohru! It's Shigure! How is everything going?" Shigure tried to sound very innocent and oblivious to his doings.

"Oh, it's going fine! Hatori showed up," she blurted out.

_Geeze, H__atori half naked must have gone to her head, she was not being her usual-_

"Tohru?" she could hear Shigure's voice on the other end of the phone, but she wasn't paying too much attention. Right now all her attention was on the man walking down the stairs towards her in just a towel, dripping wet. Tohru couldn't have thought that Hatori could look any sexier than he did right now, his body glistening with beads of water rolling off his lean muscles. His light skin flushed from the warm water of the bath he just took.

"Do you mind if I use the bedroom to change? I wouldn't want to scare you with my changing right here." Hatori stated simply as he grabbed his clothes from the back of the couch. _When had he__ put those there?-_

"Tohru? Tohru what is going on?" Shigure was sounding worried now.

"Ah-um, yes, f-feel free t-to use the b-bedroom." she stammered, her blush darkening.

"Tohru!" Shigure yelled to catch her attention.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Shigure-Sama!" she replied, her eyes never leaving Hatori's. His light green eyes stared into her teal ones, and she could feel herself getting hot just from the eye contact. His eyes displayed things she was sure he didn't intend for her.

_He is probably thinking about__ Kana or someone else. That look isn't meant for me. _ She tried to explain to herself, though her body, and the look on his face was telling her different.

"Thank you, Tohru," Hatori stated as he seemingly peeled his eyes from her and started up the stairs. Tohru let out a big sigh once Hatori was out of eye sight.

"Shigure-Sama, you should have told me Hatori was coming to the vacation house. I would have just stayed home instead of invading his space," Tohru stated, her body was wound up tight like a spring.

"Heehee, I forgot I told ha-san to use the house this weekend too, and I'm sure he likes it."

"Likes what?" she asked.

"I have to go! Mitsuru is here!" Shigure laughed right before he hung up.

_That poor editor._

Hatori began getting dressed, but couldn't help himself of thinking of the look him and Tohru had shared. He had shown way too much to her, and hoped that she wouldn't pick up on it. Though, at this point he was just glad she didn't notice the erection he had brewing under the towel when he saw her looking at him like that. She looked just like he felt, like she wanted him. He sighed as he tried to steer his thoughts away from her small light pink lips, and her beautiful eyes, and dear god the blush on her face just made her even more attractive to him. He wanted her, and he was tired of trying to tell himself "no". Obviously his conscience wasn't working. She was just a child, though she was more of an adult than she was when she first moved in with the Shomas. She was a young woman now, 19 years of age, and her body had begun to finally bloom. He envisioned her luscious breasts under her shirt heaving up and down when he found her in the bathroom crying last week. Having her so close to him then had driven him crazy, but his need to protect her had overwhelmed his desire to take her there on the bathroom floor. Today though, she wasn't crying; she wasn't in need of protecting, unless it was from himself.


	3. Rough CH3 Desire RATED M!

Hatori could feel Tohru's soft skin under him, accepting his weight as is he were as light as a feather. Her soft lips kissing his shoulder as she wrapped her around his neck. He softly ran his fingers over her soft breasts, as much as he could reach without removing himself from on top of her. It felt so good, to just lay on top of her a shower her face, neck and shoulders with kisses, as she did the same. He felt himself harden, and press into her stomach, his thick erection wanting to be inside her. He was sure she could feel him, her hips were gyrating, her body unknowingly moving. He could tell from her blush,and the semi-surprised look on her face that she had never known a man before. He lifted himself gently from on top of her and kissed her full on the mouth, her soft lips parting ever so slightly, her little warm pink tongue licking innocently at his lips. He could tell she wanted him, but he didnt want to hurt her. He sighed as he cupped her face in his left hand, supporting himself with his right, and leaned his forehead against hers, a sigh escaping his lips.

"Hatori- Sama? Whats wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Tohru asked, as she drew her arms back towards herself. She was shutting him out and was doing it very quickly.

"No, please don't think that, and please call me Hatori, Tohru." he replied, his olive eyes softening, and his lips curving into a small smile. Tohru smiled brightly and visibly relaxed, and she began trailing her small fingers up and down his back again.

"It's just that I would prefer not to hurt you, since I am almost positive that you have not been with a man before." he stated as he brushed his jet black hair from away from in front of his eyes.

"you're right, I haven't, and I'm scared Dr. Hat- I mean Hatori, but I know you would never hurt me." she replied, her trust of him evident in her lovely teal eyes. Hatori groaned, his erection pulsing with his need for her.

"you drive me insane my little Onigiri." His hand cupped her face as he kissed her deeply, letting all his need for her spill into that one kiss. It was soft at first, but grew into a wild storm that overtook tohru fiercely. Hatori broke off the kiss gently laying butterfly kisses along her jaw line and down her neck. She began making little mewing noises when he started sucking on her neck lightly. He chuckled under his breath, and bit her lightly. His k-9 teeth just barley grazing her smooth, soft flesh. She shivered, and her hips thrust towards him, cause hatori to groan. He was having a hard time not just thrusting into her right here and now, but he knew he had to go slow. He had to be gentle with Tohru, above anything else he never wanted to see her in pain. His large calloused hand gently began massing her breasts, every once in a while he would lightly pinch her nipple between his thumb and his forefinger, causing her to make the cutest noise. When he took her rose colored nipple into his mouth and gently swirled his tongue around it, and sucked lightly, she moaned softly, her tiny hands holding onto his back as if she was holding on for her life.

"Oh god Tohru!" Hatori groaned as his hips lightly pushing into her.

He kept fondling her as he tentatively dipped his fingers between her legs, at her junction. She was hot, and unbelievably wet. She moaned louder as he played with her clit, alternatively playing with it, and dipping his finger in her.

"ah! Hatori!" she moaned, as she began gyrating her hips wildly.

"tohru, are you ok? Am I hurting you?" hatori asked, his eyes worried, as he pulled his hand away from her, and braced himself further away from her. Tohru groaned, her hips pushing into him, and mewing softly.

"ah, don't stop hatori! Please. Please." she pleaded with hatori. Trying to claw at him to bring him closer to her.

"can I enter you?" he asked, as he tentatively held himself at her entrance. She nodded, her eyes closed, and her hips still moving towards him. He sighed, a smile crossing his face.

"Thank you tohru. Now please try to relax my little Onigiri. This may hurt." hatori told her as he pressed his thick shaft to her entrance. He moved his hips forward, a centameter at a time, going as slow as he could, and driving himself insane with the heat, warmth, and tightness of her. She was wet enough for him to slid in slowly, inch by inch without a problem, until he hit it. Her hymen.

_So she was a virgin. _ He thought as he pulled out just a bit, as to not hurt her.

"tohru, honey. You are a virgin, aren't you?" Hatori asked as he cupped her face in his palm, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"y-yes. I was s-saving myself for you. I love you Hatori Sohma." she replied, small tears forming at the corrner of her eyes.

"is this ok?" he asked, as he pressed against her hymen, almost breaking through it. Tohru nodded, her mocha colored hair falling into her face. Hatori brushed her hair behind her ear, and sighed.

"this is going to hurt tohru. Just tell me to stop if it hurts to much."

He pushed ever so slowly, into her, and broke through her hymen, his shaft sliding all the way into her with ease. She cried out, tears streaming down her face, as she clung to hatori, her small arms wrapped around him, shivering.

"Tohru! I'm sorry torhu!" hatori cried, as he tried to pull out of her, so as to stop her pain, but she held him to her, not letting him pull out.

"No. stay. I-it just hurt a little bit. Please. I'm fine." Tohru replied, her hands again stroking his back, in a soothing effect.

"Are you sur-"

before he could finish his sentence she pushed herself up, making his hard cock thrust into her. She moaned and cringed a bit, but she just kept moving, impaling herself again and again on his shaft, her cries turning from that of pain, to immense pleasure. He groaned, and he pushed her down on the bed, pinned her arms, and began thrusting into her softly, matching her speed, but he progressively got more aggressive, his thrusts becoming harder, and longer. Her cries began to turn into moans, and he could feel her tightening around him.

_She must be close. _He thought as he watched as her body moved on its own accord, matching his trusts, her hair flying wildly around her. She was amazing, so strong, and so fragile, and she wanted him.

"ah- harder, hatori. I want you!" she moaned as she tried to make him thrust into her harder. He smirked, knowing know that he could be himself, he didnt have to worry about him hurting her. He pulled out of her abruptly, and flipped her onto her stomach, making her get on her knees. He positioned himself and thrust hard and deep into her, and to his satisfaction she screamed his name.

He held onto her luscious hips and pulled her to him as he thrust forward, his speed increasing, only to be met by her moans and mews of pleasure.

Not even kana had let him have her this way, and never so roughly. He was able to be himself around this woman, and couldnt get enough. He could feel his own orgasm coming closer with every stroke, and slowed a bit. Tohru pushed her hips back towards him, to get him to move more, but he kept his pace, knowing the longs slow strokes would make her cum. He kissed her neck,her ear, nibbling ever so slightly. She was going crazy, and he loved being the one doing it to her.

"tohru, my dear, make yourself feel good." he whispered in her ear. Tohru stopped moving, and turned her head to look at hatori. Her long locks falling down over her shoulders and grazing her breasts.

"do what?" she asked, genuinely confused. Hatori chucked. As he pulled her hair from in front of her to hold it in one of his hands behind her head, and tugged on it slightly, forcing her to push her breasts out farther in front of her and her head back towards him. She moaned slightly, as he kissed her neck again.

"play with your clit, tohru. I want you to cum with me my honey." he stated, as he pushed into her from behind again, slowly, savoring every inch of her warm, wet glove wrapping itself tightly around his shaft. He shivered, the pleasure almost to much for him to bear, but he kept himself in control. He wanted her first time to be memorable. Tohru did as he had instructed, and he watched as she pushed herself on his cock, the off. She was doing all the movements, and it was turning him on. She was getting close, he could tell by how she gripped him, and how her movements began to get jerky. He let her hair go and pulled out of her. He wanted to see her cum. He wanted to see what he did to her. He flipped a very surprised tohru onto her back, then laid down next to her on his back.

"get on."

"how?"

he pulled her on top of himself so she was laying on him. She looked so confused, and cute, hatori couldn't help but laugh and hug her tightly to him.

"Tohru, honey, put me in you. And then move up and down." he stated. He watched her expression go from confused to embarrassed in a split second, and he chuckled again. His laugh making her bounce up and down lightly on his chest.

"here let me show you." he said as he picked her up by the hips, as if she were nothing more than a feather, and he hovered her just above his cock. He waited to see her expression, and smiled as she stared at him in wonder.

_She is so innocent. _

"now just lower yourself onto me."

she nodded and slowly lowered her hips down, impaling herself onto his slick erection. She moaned, loudly, going very very slow, she lowered herself even more.

"i-i cant, hatori. It hurts to much." she cried, as she held herself where she was on him. Hatori cradled her to him and smiled.

"Tohru," she looked into his eyes at hearing her name, "Honey, do you want to stop? Or do you want to continue like this?"

"I want to continue. It just hurts."

"I can make that go away, my Onigiri." hatori stated, placing both his large hands on either side of Tohrus hips, "do you want me to make it feel good like it did?" all she did was nod her head, her eyes closed and her arms holding onto hatori. He lifted her up slowly off of his cock, then lowered her back down, fast. She cried out his name, her nails digging into his flesh. He kept impaling her onto his cock, faster and faster. Until, she unknowing, began moving by herself, and he let go of her hips, watching her breasts bounce up and down as she moved.

"does it feel good Torhu?" Hatori asked, his hands playing with her erect nipples. She nodded, moaning louder and louder, as she began going faster and faster. He started playing with her clit as she kept moving, causing her smooth up and down motion, to become jerky and sporadic. She was getting really close. He played with one of her nipples with his other hand, and sucked on the opposite one with his mouth. Tohru went crazy, and clamped down on him, not moving and inch. She was in pleasure overload. He trust himself into her fast and hard, causing them both to go over the edge. Her orgasm overtook her, her body jerking up and down on his pulsing cock, as his seed gushed into her waiting womb, groaning her name over and over again.

"oh god Tohru! I love you Tohru! I love you!" he kept saying. He couldn't help his body moving, making short thrusts into her still climaxing body.

That's when Hatori woke, up, his body rock hard, and sweating.

_It was just a fucking dream!_

He cursed to himself, as he pulled on his shirt, and walked upstairs to see Tohru sleeping soundly in her bed. He left before he made his dream become a reality, a very wet, hot, and immensely sexy reality.


	4. Chapter 4 im sorry

Tohru watched as Hatori pulled out from the cottage and drove away. not even a word of good bye from him. she sighed, wiping the would be tears from her eyes and picked up the phone in the cottage to call Shigure.

"hello? Sohma residence!" shigures voice rang happily from the other end.

"Shigure, i need you to come pick me up please." Tohru said, her voice sounded very small and cracked as she spoke. unable to stop herself she collapsed on the floor in sobs, holding the phone in her hand to her ear as if it were her only life line.

"i must have made him angry at me. he-he just left without saying anything and slammed the doors. he seems very mad Shigure. im sorry Shigure"

she kept repeating herself, in between sobs she would apologize again and again. Shigure sighed.

"Tohru dear, im sending Aya to come pick you up. please be ready" he said.

"and Tohru, hunny, its fine. everything is fine. Hatori is just-well he is just Hatori. im sure he is just angry with himself about something."

she smiled briefly, hiccuping as she did.

"yea-yea im sure that is what it is. thanks shiigure-sama" she stated, her sobs silent.

"anytime dear. now go get your things packed. i have to get off the phone to call Aya, will you be ok?" he asked, seemingly very worried about her. she shook her head forgetting he couldnt see her. "i-im fine. thank you again" she said before Shigure hung up. Tohru put the phone on the receiver and sat on the floor, her legs sprawled out in front of her, her brown hair messy from just waking up, and began to cry. her sobs went from silent, to body wracking.

she heard the honk, but couldn't muster the strength to sit up from where she was laying on the floor still crying, curled in a ball, her arms wrapped around her legs. her breathing was hard, and she was gasping when Aya found her on the floor. a pool of tears around her, her hair tousled and wet from her crying. she was a mess.

Aya smiled, brushing a strand of his silver hair away from his amber eyes.

"thohru dear, im here." he said as he gently cradled her close to him and let her sob. he rubbed her back gently, and smoothed her hair away from her face.

"its alright hunny. it wasn't you. i spoke with him on the way here. he isn't mad at you, at all dear" Aya said gently. Tohru looked up at him her teal eyes watering slightly, but her sobs had stopped. her body was still recovering from the panic attack, so her hiccups hadn't subsided, but a little bit of cheer had returned to her face. Aya's heart lurched as he saw the girls face for the first time since getting here. the worry, the sadness, it was all life ending for this girl.

"i wonder if Hatori knows how much he means to this girl" Ayame thought to himself as he helped her to stand. she smiled gently, thanked him and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

after a few minutes, Tohru came out again, fresh faced and smiling like her normal self.

Ayame returned her smile and gather her things. he had packed for her while she was in the restroom.

"thank you Ayame for..." she paused for a minute, seemingly trying to word out what she was going to say in her mind, " thank you for everything Ayame. i know you had to take time off work to come pick me up, and i made you worry and pack my things. im so sorry Ayame-sama."

as they got into Ayame's car he smiled and handed her a box of chocolates he had brought with him.

"no worries my dear. i was out buying chocolates for my dear brother when Shigure called me. so i picked you up one too!" his voice was almost singing as he spoke.

the ride to the Sohma house was uneventful. Aya spoke about his business and all the new outfits he had for Tohru to try on. all of which sounded like something out of the naughty books Tohru had spotted in kyo's room when cleaning.

Hatori watched as Ayame's car pulled up into the Sohma main gate. Tohru was in the passenger seat, looking as happy as ever chatting with Ayame.

"i have got to hand it to that snake. he knows how to make anyone happy" Hatori mummbled to himself as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of this nose. his green eyes shot to Shigure walking towards his house, a scowl on the dogs face.

Shigure didnt even bother to knock. he just walked in and cornered Hatori in the living room where he was spying.

"Hatori. you insensitive bastard!"

Shigure yelled at him, slamming his fist into the wall right next to Hatori's head.

"you know i didn't mean to hurt her." Hatori replied, quite surprised at how much Shigure cared about Tohru's feelings. he felt himself get a bit jealous just thinking of it. he bit his anger off before it could boil, and this ended up being an all out brawl.

"and now you are going to fix this! now!" Shigure said as she crossed his arms over his chest, obviously still fuming.

"ah, that would be a no, Shigure, i cant. she is just a little girl. for that matter i cannot be in the same house as her without doing horrible things to her." Shigure stated as he pulled his glasses off, and rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"it is simply not meant to be between us." Hatori stated simply.

Tohru walked in just at that instant, her eyes widened at the words Hatori had spoke.

"oh my god, no." Hatori's eyes flashed open as he heard the door open then slam again, shut.

Ayame walked in, his eyes trailing after a sobbing Tohru.

"nice going Hatori. you about as good with girls as yuki is." he joked, his smile fading.

"shut it snake." he snapped back, putting his glasses back on.

"i would suggest you go after her, before she has another panic attack Hatori." Shigure growled.

"why! she is just a little girl with a crush!" Hatori snapped back his olive green eyes slits as he glared at the snake and dog.

"ah, Hatori. just so you know. i found her in a heap on the floor. she didnt even move when i honked the horn on the car, or when i knocked on the door."

Aya shook his head, his sliver waist length hair falling in waves about him.

"her heart was going to fast, she was barely breathing. she was a mess."

Hatori's eyes widened as he listened.

"she called me Hatori. to come pick her up. she thought you were mad at her. that she did something wrong. i don't think how she feels right now is a crush, but i also dont think she knows how to be with you Hatori. she is young, but a women none the less. she wants your love."

"oh stop spouting your romance novel book crap at me!"

Ayame chuckled, then placed a hand on Hatori's broad shoulder, his amber eyes serious as he stared into his old friends olive green ones.

"this is serious Hatori. she is confused, in love, and now hurt. she is not a little girl anymore. you of all people should know that. stop denying your feelings just because you are scared. akito cant touch you anymore. he cant hurt you, or Tohru."

Hatori sighed heavily as he looked from Aya to Shigure who nodded in agreement with Ayame.

"Thank you both. i dont know wha-"

"will you stop talking and go after that girl already! she is probably all the way back at my house by now!" Shigure shouted.

Hatori chuckled running after Tohru. she would go to only one place. he knew exactly where that was too.

as he ran after her he played over what he would say to her in his head.

"god i hope she forgives me" he thought as he ran towards shigures house.


	5. Chapter 5

Hatori skidded to an abrupt stop, pushed his jet black hair out of his eyes and gazed in front of him, searching for tohru. He was sure she had come this way, but all visible traces were gone. He sighed and started calling her name again, over and over, headed in the direction of the high school. If she wasn't at shigures he figured she would go to the high school, or maybe her grandfathers, which were both in about the same direction. The wind picked up, bringing with it a dust cloud of leaves and debris. Hatori pulled his coat closer around him, realizing that tohru had run off without a coat and was probably freezing by now, he cursed himself and his lose tongue, and continued his search with even more vigor.

Hatsuharu had gotten a call from kisa, saying she couldn't get a hold of tohru. After going down the phone tree shigure figured kisa would tell hatsuharu, and he could look for tohru on his bike. He placed his goggles over his eyes and kicked the kick stand to his bike up, revving the engine before accelerating off down the road. He kept his eyes ever alert looking for anything to hint in tohrus direction. A glimmer of white caught his right eye and he turned down the street following it. When he noticed where the road was going he sighed,

_of course she would go here..._ he thought as he came to a stop and put his kickstand down. He quickly texted kisa letting her know where he was and that she was to call hatori and give him the directions on how to get here immediately. After pocketing his phone and pulling his goggles down to lay around his neck, he got off his bike and walked up to the cemetery where he assumed tohrus parents lay buried. of all the places no one would guess her to come back here, not after all these years, she had long since stopped coming here, ever since her grandfather had passed.

He noticed tohru sitting cured up next to a grave sobbing, and hiccuping violently. He sighed, running a slender hand through his tousled white and black hair.

"hey, tohru" he called out to her softly. He didn't want to startle her, and he knew he was the last person she would have thought was searching for her. He was sort of obligated though, since kisa had become such great friends with tohru, she had become like a sister to him. Though he never said the feeling out loud. He crouched next to her, and looked at the graves, dusting them off a bit and reading the names.

"why did you come here?" he asked, sighing again. _This is so not what I signed up for. _

"i-i-i just wanted..." tohru broke down in tears again, her sobs worsening. Hatsuharu stared at her for a long moment, debating on what to do, before he swiftly grabbed the girl and pulled her into a tight hug, resting his head on the top of hers. She smelled like sunshine, and he chuckled, thinking the sent appropriate for hatori- the winter dragon. Who better to melt the snow and let spring bloom in his heart.

"hatori is out looking for you. He is worried about you" hatsuharu stated simply. Tohrus shaking, and sobs quieted a bit at the mention of hatoris search for her.

She shook her head, a new wave of sobs overtaking her, "you're wrong. I was there, he doesn't want anything to do with me...he thinks im just a child with a silly crush," she managed to get out before her sobs got bad enough to still her voice and exact more hiccups from her.

"you should really try breathing, I hear it helps." haru offered, as he chuckled. He pulled out a handkerchief, one with momijis initials on it, and handed it to the tohru.

"here, you might want to clean up before hand."

tohru gazed at the man handing her the handkerchief and took it gladly wiping her eyes and face with it.

"b-before w-what?" she asked as she tried to hand it back a weak smile on her face.

"uh, you can keep that. When you wash it give it back to momiji. Its his after all."

she pocketed the damp cloth.

"thank you hatsuharu" tohru said as she clung to him, her chest heaving from the force of her sobs. He felt her heart racing, and sighed, silently cursing the dragon for causing this whole mess.

Hatori answered his cell phone with a snap, instantly regretting it when he heard the young tigers voice on the other side. He hung up as soon as the news had been passed not even bothering to say good bye or pocket his cell phone. He was in a rush to get to her, to make things right.

When he arrived at the cemetery he spotted hatsuharu, only wearing his black tank top, sitting next to a shivering girl. Upon more inspection he noticed it was tohru, her eyes were closed and he could see her body being wracked by more tears. Haru put an arm around her, and turned to speak to her. At his words torhu glanced in hatoris direction, her lashes spiked with fresh tears and a look of utter shock on her face.

_She seriously thought I wasn't looking for her..._he thought, his heart breaking as he walked closer to the two. Hatsuharu helped tohru get up, waved at her and walked right past hatori, whispering, "don't fuck this up" to him. Haru got on his bike and peeled out of the cemetery, _probably on his way back home to kisa, _hatori thought. Tohru was still covered in harus coat, the thing was two sized tow big and looked like a tent on her. Hatori could barely hold his chuckle a the site of her, she was so cute, she looked just like a little child In the coat. Realizing his thoughts hatori cursed himself. _She isn't a child anymore dammit, she is a woman. . . _he told himself as he approached her.

"tohru, hunny...i am so sorry..." hatori cooed as he got closer to the shaking girl, her lids laden with soon to be tears. Her shoulders were still heaving as if she was trying to catch her breath. He remembered the time he had found her during an attack, she had done the same thing then when she had calmed down a bit. He mentally noted that he was an prick and that he deserved the way his heart felt right now- torn to shreds and about to be placed on a silver platter for this young woman to do with as she pleased.

Tohru watched as hatori came ever closer, time seeming to slow down to an unbearable crawl as the realizations hit that he was there for her.._to scold me for running off? Or maybe to yell at me for being so sensitive. Maybe he was going to call me a child with a silly crush again, just to say it to my face so i would realize that he meant what he had said to shigure. _

Her thoughts flowed uncontrollably in her mind as the tears threatened to fall down her flushed cheeks yet again. Then she heard the sweet voice he had spoken to her in, her broke free and flowed freely down her face, feeling hot against her wind chilled face. She felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and bring her close to something hard as stone, but warm and soft at the same time. _Hatori. _she thought to herself, _he is hugging me.._she smiled to herself.

Hatori felt tohru relax against him, and then the wet drops of what must have been tears hit his shirt and he almost began to cry as well. He had hurt this woman so badly, with just a few words, he had torn her apart. He hugged her tighter to her, resting his head on the top of hers, and took in her sent, his mind racing over the images of her smiling in the past, the past times he had spent with her, how cheerful she had been. He wanted that..._i want her..._the simple thought shocked him. He knew he wanted her, but it was different this time, it wasn't a lust driven want, it was something else something bigger.

He placed a hand gently on the back of her head stroking her hair and murmuring soft words of endearment to her. Of his feelings, his apology, his search for her, how worried for her he was. It all came out in those soft whispers.

Tohrus sobs quieted to non-existent, her tears still fell though, with a fever as she clung to the dragon. She couldn't help her tears falling, at this point she couldn't help much of what she was doing. She was so tired, and her heart had swelled to much from the love pouring into the words hatori spoke gently to her.

Hatori silently watched torhu, his olive eyes soft, as he continued to smooth her hair with his free hand, the other hand occupied with holder her waist close to him.

"tohru.." he finally spoke after a long moment her her silent tears spilling all over his shirt. Her head buried into his chest to where all he could see was the top of her head. She looked up in surprise hearing her name spoken by him, her aqua eyes glossy and red rimmed from crying. Hatori pushed the lust from his mind, beating the dragon beast down in him mentally.

"torhu, why are you still crying...i don't know what else to say..."

tohrus eyes widened, she clung even harder to him, her small pale hands grasping onto his crisp button down shirt, her mind racing with what to say to him, this loving man, who up until a few minutes ago had been so stoic towards her.

Hatori closed his eyes, pushing his classes up further onto the bridge of his nose and rubbing where they had previously sat. A nervous habit he had. When he opened his eyes again and looked down at torhu ,she had buried her face again into his chest, her small hands clinging to his shirt. She pried one of her hands off of his shirt and laced her fingers with his, and used his free hand to place under her chin and gently tilt her head up to face him. Her cheeks were flushed a beautiful rosy color, her lips red from being bitten in the fit of sobs, her chestnut locks tousled but still wonderfully lovely, and her eyes, the deep eyes he could ever get enough of stared back into his slanted olive green ones. He smiled gently before leaning in to kiss her lightly on the mouth, just before his lips connected with hers, he whispered the words "i love you tohru." the kiss was soft, and gentle and once he pulled back, his hand now cradling her chilled cheek, her face leaning against it, he smiled again. Her stared into his eyes, a smile dancing across her lips.

"i was crying tears of joy." she said simply before kissing the palm of his warm hand.


End file.
